Revived

        Tonight, about thirty students met in our small chapel room on campus.  We worshiped our Lord, prayed for one another and shared healing and life testimonies from some of the group.  It was wonderful- I felt completely in my element.  The Holy Spirit moves in magnificent ways when we make room for it to do so. :]  I am so at peace, because God's love fulfills my every need over and over and over again.  He is all-powerful, letting me know that I can do anything when He gives me strength to do so.  Yay Jesus!!!

        Yesterday I gave a speech to be class president next year in front of the whole school... very intimidating.  I couldn't sleep very well the night before- I woke up four times! /:  Right before it all started, three of my friends came up to me and prayed for peace on my mind.  It sure worked, because when I was up on stage giving my speech and answering questions I wasn't scared, just a little jittery when answering questions that I didn't know were going to be asked of me.  I'm giving this up to God- I don't know if I will get it or not, but He'll definitely use me one way or another next year. :]

          I can feel God's blessing on me, that He's cheering me on saying, "You can do it!!" as I step out of my comfort zone and allow God to use me in areas I previously thought were not for me.  I'm learning that I don't need to start a revival here on campus either; Jesus is living in me, and I am the revival whenever I spread His authority and joy over people I see in my daily life.  He is filling me up and I'm so willing to pour out His Spirit to others who are thirsty. :]

New Cut For A New Year

    I am now back at Simpson. What a strange feeling.  I haven't seen too many people here yet, and two of my room mates are not here yet.
    Two days ago, I got my hair cut. My hair is in the mail to Locks of Love :]
    Yesterday I saw my mom off as she went to board her airplane.  I was very sad to see her go- I was just getting used to being with her and my family the past few weeks, and then I have to leave them again.   :'(
   I was able to spend my weekend at the Garcia's house with my mom, which was very nice.  Gavrielle is my eight-year-old sissy and we got to play together a lot.  I took her to school this morning, which was very strange for me because I am not used to driving before eight o'clock in the morning.  We saw the sun rising up near Mount Lassen as we speed in the freezing weather towards Bethel Church. 
   I have a great view of what is to come this next semester. I know it will be great! :D

Twirling, Unsettled Thoughts

With the year two-thousand and eleven upon us, I suppose that, like me, many people are reflecting on the year two-thousand and ten, how wonderful it was, but at the same time they are looking forward to what is ahead.  I have been wishing that I had journaled more about my first semester at Simpson and documented wonderful moments with a camera to display for loved ones and for myself when I desire to look back on my teen years decades from now. However, I am constantly conflicted with this thought: I could start now with diligence in recording my life, but I am not sure how focused on this I sould be.  I feel like my time that I spend right now is already chalk full of events that occur, and I don't want to stop whatever I am in the middle of to blog or journal about it.  Thus, my tug-of-war has begun, because journaling does help me clear my thoughts.  Writing helps concepts in my brain to become organized and complete, and I am able to scribble things that could later encourage me. For example, in two-thousand and seven I wrote a letter to my future husband for fun. I found it a week ago when I was going through things in my room, and I read its contents.  While reading, I discovered many similarities and some changes in my world view over the past three years. So, I wrote another letter, and felt relieved to express my thoughts freely to someone by following the curvy trail of my muddled thoughts. It felt very good, and I realized that the fear that stopped me from writing was that I would consume too much time there and not focus on important things in life.  What a queer fear that is!
I suppose,my new year's resulution, in effect, is to write, scribble, draw and follow my thoughts and experiences without being fully distracted by journaling without getting in the way of spending time with Jesus, friends and school work. I know that although I won't be very consistant, I want and desire to keep up with this throughout the year. When two-thousand and eleven closes in three-hundred and sixty days or so, I believe I will not be hard on myself; instead I will be able to have tid-bits of the year to reflect on and remember the growth and changes that occur.
I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas, and has a wonderful New Year :] I love you dearly- thanks for reading!

Taking Flight

Tonight, I will be flying on an airplane, all by myself.  For the first time.  I've always flown with my family, and this summer I went on a trip with my brother in a group, so I'm very comfortable with flying.  But I've never gone by myself.  I feel so grown up :]  I'll be flying home from the Redding airport to San Francisco, switching planes and then flying to the San Luis Obispo airport.  I am so blessed that my parents were willing to pay for the tickets- I honestly wasn't sure if they were going to do that or not.  The reason I am going is because tomorrow morning is my grandpa's funeral tomorrow [my mom's stepdad]. 
I went home for Thanksgiving break last Tuesday evening. I felt so disoriented being in my room.... I don't know how else to explain it.  The next day my family and Rich drove down to Disneyland so we could enjoy the park for Thanksgiving Day.  Although I didn't quite get all the rest that I wanted, I enjoyed the company of my family, which I haven't done for the past three months.  And it was strange to drive back up to Simpson again and start school again.  Yet, it felt so normal to be back, like my new home is here. 
I did get to ride my horse last Saturday. I am looking forward to riding again this weekend as well :]

11/11 at 11:11pm :]

First off, I am continuing to have an amazing time here at Simpson.  The love of Jesus continually flows through my veins and encourages me daily <3 I have been learning the concept of not taking responsibility for other people when it's not my place to do so. I'm also learning how much He loves me, how much His death on the cross overrules anything I do, and that when I serve Him, His love continues to spread like fire :]
Secondly, I am thinking about changing my major from Accounting to Business and Administrations. I'm still praying about it and would love your prayers on this too! I feel like I will be able to have qualifications for a wider range of jobs as a business major than as an accounting major.  The classes required are very similar, but not exact.
Thirdly, I'm wanting to take up snowboarding. There is a class offered here, but I'd have to minor in Outdoor Leadership to take the class. Which would be very fun, I think, but I'd have to take extra classes over the summer or stay extra semesters to do it.  What I could do is just get my own snowboard and go to the snow when I want and not take the class [because I already know how, I just want to practice]. This way, I might be able to go with friends whenever they go for a day, and I wouldn't loose 4 Saturdays in a row next semester. I'd appreciate prayer for that too.
Fourthly, my laptop screen is a disaster! it has shattered. Sad day. I'll be getting it repaired next week. Thank the Lord, a friend of mine is lending me his monitor, so my laptop is now connected to it so I can use it.
Lastly, I am having a lot of fun with my room mates Emily and Eva. I so want you to meet them- they are wonderful young ladies of Jesus Christ, and I want to take them home with me :]

Weekends and Week Days

It is now the middle of October, and the middle of the week.  Already. 

My life here at Simpson is steadily chugging along. God is doing great and little things in my life.  I have been juggling school work with "free time" and growing in relationships.

I'm having a difficult time describing my life as of this moment, to give you a snap shot of my day.  There is SO much that is packed into one day that I can barely keep up with it all.  I need someone to follow me to document it all! hahaha....

For Columbus Day weekend, Simpson U gave us last Friday and this Monday, so one of my lovely room mates, Emily Suryan, invited me to go home with her, which is near Fremont in the bay area.  We watched Secretariat on the big screen- a movie I so reccomend- and also spent time shopping/ window shopping at the mall. 

This weekend, my parents are coming up to Redding for the Parents' Weekend event being hosted at the school.  I am excited to see my family again!!! 

I have recently thought about how I don't feel like I have a real home anymore.  The house in San Luis Obispo  won't see me except for during breaks, and Simpson isn't a permanent dwelling place in the long run.  I find it strange that after I graduate from college, that, unless I get married, I will have to find my own appartment for myself until I do.  I will have the opportunity to create my own living space, decorate it how I want it to look, and live with the full responsibility of paying for rent, a car, food and other such needs for myself.  Now, that is a strange thought.  For now, at least.  I trust that God will prepare me so that I will be ready to do so when the time comes.

Mean while, back at the ranch,  being a freshman I realize that I don't need to worry about my future now, just the next test for Old Testament that is worth 25% of my grade. Oh my! 

 This is The Rock.   The one place at our school where you can paint anything on it.

 It's a living mural.The girls of 2nd floor in the Irwin dorm went out late one night and painted it!

This is the back of the finished rock- with my initials and a flower that I personally added :)

The Stirring- No Shame

This past Sunday evening I went to The Stirring with some Simpson U students.  The church started a series called, "Jealous Love" last week, and it's about God's jealous love for us.  I was struck by what the pastor had to say about the difference bewteen guilt and shame.  "Guilt is good!" He said, "because it is God's way of helping us to become aware of a wrong done. But shame is when all the guilt piles up and consumes you, making you have a feeling of a false humily, like thinking that you're not worthy of God's love, or that you're not that awesome, when in fact He cries out that you are wonderfully made." Ok, so those weren't his exact words.  But that's what I got out of the message.  The message punched me in the gut of my mind at that.  Knowing that I constantly build up shame, unaware of it until my mind overflows with saddness for lack of self-love.

When he brought up Genesis 2:25 "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.", he explained how the text shows us as created in God's image, and without shame.  We were never meant to live in shame. Then he read Genesis 3:7-11; I was frozen in understanding. "Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they sewed fig leaves together and made coverins for themselves.  Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from theLORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, 'Where are you?' He answered, 'I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.' 
And he said, 'Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?"  God asks this, showing that we are not created as poorly as we are often told and believe. God doesn't see our shame, and doesn't call us that.  So, whenever shame filled thoughts invade my thinking, I am becoming more and more aware of how 99% of it is not from God.  He LOVES me! He created me to exist in his own image to enjoy this world- why would he be ashamed of me?

With all that being observed, I am now admitting to the shame that I've carried, but God's taking over with His Love.  It's a continual journey and battle, but it's soo worth the fight. I get to sit on my Papa's lap all the time :]